From Ireland to Iowa in a Few Short Days

Adjusting back to Iowa life has been surprisingly easy, yet hard at the same time. I have only been back for a week now and I feel like it has been so much longer. Immediately, I jumped back into the old lifestyle: going to a swim meet, playing with the dogs, driving my car, and running to my bridge. I also started work and class within the first 2 days I was home. Who needs to recover from jet lag or sleep deprivation, when you have hours of work and catching up to do. It was no nice and slow welcome home. I was met by the full force of the American way. New York City may be known as the city that never sleeps, but I have come to realize that America is the country that never sleeps. No matter how early or how late, there will always be someone else driving on the road. Trust me, the last few days I have experienced this first hand. The country is always moving; it never sleeps.

Now that I'm back and trying to catch up on all the things I pushed aside until I got 'home', I feel like I never sleep. The hectic last few days have made it hard for me to come to terms with the fact that my semester abroad is officially over. I haven't had to time to sit and think about all the implications this has on my life. All I know is that it feels as if a part of my life is missing. The part that was filled by the friends I made and the culture that I grew to love. The part of my life that knew Belfast as 'home'.

I have put 'home' in quotes throughout my post because this semester solidified my view that 'home' is where the heart is. Some people search all over the world to find a place they can call 'home'. I am fortunate to have a few. My heart has always loved Perry as it grew and matured there. My heart learned to love Cedar Rapids with all the trials and joy that I experienced while in the middle-eastern part of the state. However, these last few months my heart has grown attached to yet another 'home'. This home has it's own special place in my heart as it is so unique. It is not only unique because at the beginning it was thousands of miles away from everyone I knew and oceans apart from everyone I loved. It is unique because this was a home I built on my own.

The foundation was built by curiosity. It was laid years ago when I met my first exchange student and I became determined to study abroad myself one day. The framing and structure of the house were built by my faith. Even though the foundation is the beginning of all houses the frame holds the whole house together. Faith is the most important of all the building blocks. Even though I flew out knowing no one, I did know one thing: God was guiding my path. I knew there was a reason I was going where I was. The floor is laid on my foundation and is the fortune I was given by being born who I was. The foundation wouldn't be much if there wasn't a floor to walk on. The blessings I have merely because of my birth are what have allowed me to walk the path I do. Without this fortune as an American I might not have the ability to indulge my curiosity and travel to experience new cultures. The walls were constructed while I was in Belfast and they represent the people I met that turned the city into a 'home'.

Both other places are a 'home' because my family and friends reside in these places. The mere mention of the city evokes feelings of nostalgia synonymous with those evoked when a loved one's name is mentioned. The place has become somewhere I love because of all the memories and relationships I have made there. The city has become a 'home' because my heart loves the people who are there and the places that I have shared memories with them.

Belfast started as just another city to me, but has evolved into a place that I call 'home'. It is a place that I miss; however, just like the other two cities it is not a 'home' merely because of its location. It is a 'home' because of the people I grew to love and the memories that I made there. One of the hardest parts about coming back to Iowa was knowing I could never go back to my 'home' in Belfast. All that remains is the abandoned house. No other occupants remain, but the house itself still echos with memories. The part in my heart which calls Belfast 'home' longs to go back; however, I know there would be nothing to go back to except for empty memories.

Yesterday I heard "Nothing but a Memory" by Miranda Lambert and I felt the song pretty much mirrored my feelings. She sings about a house that is no longer her 'home'. It still holds all the old memories, but the people who made them are gone.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory

I know that I will never be able to go back to my 'home' in Belfast as I knew it. The walls will have changed and I might not even recognize it. But the little bit of hope that I hold onto is that I can still visit those whom I loved and that possibility is all I have to heal the brokenness I feel. Nothing can bring back the experience I had, and likewise nothing can stop me from visiting those who I grew to love for with each of them is a little bit of home and therefore a little bit of my heart.

The End of the Journey

As I listened to the Irish music in the pub tonight I was once again brought back to the reality that in a few short days I will no longer be treading amongst these rolling hills of Ireland. A roller coaster of emotion flooded over me as I started to think of all the memories I made in just a few short months.

I have grown close with many who were mere strangers 5 months ago. Had I walked past them on the street at Christmas I would not have been able to pick them as the people whom I would now call friends for life. In 4 short months I have not only become friends with students from all over the states, but all over the world. Before I have even left Ireland, I am already planning trips to see them. I grew close to these students in such a short time because they were similar souls. I will miss many things about these new friends. I will miss how open-minded and accepting they were. I cannot remember ever excluding someone from going out with us. I will miss how unmaterialistic they were. I have never been a shopper, and those who I grew closest with shared the same feelings of disdain for shopping. I will miss their curiosity for learning new things or exploring 'uncharted' territory. The weekend trips and the intellectual conversation about other cultures will be greatly missed.

I will not only miss the people I have grown to love but the culture as well. I will miss the carefree spirit of the European lifestyle. Most times, I have thoroughly enjoyed the mindset of "If I don't get it done today, I will get it done tomorrow." I liked that it wasn't a get 100 things done a day stressful atmosphere, but a more relaxed get as much done as you can type of feel. I will greatly miss the Irish music which could be heard nightly at a pub downtown. I think I will have to try and find the 'irish' pub when I get to Cedar Rapids. Fortunately, I will not have to miss the friendly culture of Irish people as Midwesterners are known for their hospitality as well. I will also miss how environmentally friendly Ireland was. There were recycling bins all over the place, heaters only ran during optimal times, and most people used reusable grocery bags. I feel America can greatly improve their environmental efforts, but that movement must start within the culture not the government. So I urge you to start taking your grocery bags with you to the store, recycle more bottles in the bins, and consider how much impact you personally are having on the environment.

I will miss the island as a whole. I will miss the gorgeous green I saw everyday I walked the streets to class. The flowers which add color to my days in Botanic Gardens. I will even miss the rain I cursed as I walked back from the library. I will miss being able to travel among the rolling hills of Ireland. The waves crashing on the coast. The sun shining through the clouds. And the occasional rainbow after the showers. I will also miss the ease to which I can travel to other areas of the world from the island. It was so nice having the cheap airlines to get me to and from other areas of Europe.

There are a lot of things that I will miss about Ireland. But as I prepare to leave the island I have grown to love, I know that it will always be in my heart as this wave of nostalgia will flow each time I see a shamrock or hear the familiar tunes..

Oh Ireland, I will miss thee.